Life

It's been a few months and a lot has occurred.... Baby boy has a name, Carter Finn Clark. It is only six more weeks until he is due to come into our world. We are all getting excited and anxious to meet our little guy. I graduated from college early November and it has been such a relief in some ways but it seems we keep getting hit with more and more things since then. I have enjoyed spending more time with Andilyse and we have got to appreciate the true essence of me being a stay at home mother.
On the other hand we recently found out that Nathan is deploying shortly after baby Carter is born. Honestly I haven't had time or the energy to even think about what it will be like without him around for so long. When I do think about it I usually start to cry so I push it away and am trying to stay focused on the here and now. Nathan has a lot of requirements and responsibilities to fill before he leaves, and we have Christmas, a baby being born, and a lot more to accomplish over the next three months. I have a lot of fears and uncertainties in my mind about the upcoming deployment. My biggest concern is what to tell and how to help Andilyse through this time. Nathan will be leaving some time close to her 4th birthday, and she has become quite the daddy's girl lately. I love to see her excitement and love for her daddy, but at the same time it makes me realize how much she is going to miss him. How in the HELL am I suppose to tell a four year old that her daddy has to leave for so long? She doesn't understand the concept of time... and every time she asks me when is daddy coming home I'll have to push the idea out of my mind that he may never come home..... it is so hard for me to not question God right now. Why now, why ever? I'm sure many men and women have asked this question and we see and hear about the war every day, but it takes on a new reality when it is your own family.

I'm trying to be strong because the last think I want is for Nathan to worry about us while he is gone. I want him to stay focused on coming back to us safely, but I can't help but wonder, how am I going to do this??? I can handle the day to day, taking care of the kids house etc. and I know I will have lots of help from family and friends, what I'm not sure I can handle is the uncertainty of when if ever he will come home, and the reassurance I will have to provide for Andilyse when I am so unsure.

Needless to say this is a bitter sweet time in our lives, we are so excited about having a baby boy, but the birth of Carter only brings us closer to the day when we will all be seperated for so long....

Big Day

Today was a big day for the Clark family. We went to the Dr. today to have an Ultrasound and we found out that our precious baby is a boy! We are all excited especially daddy. Andilyse isn't quite sure yet, she is still saying that your her baby sister. This is a picture of your legs spread and your anatomy for everyone to see.

This is a picture of your profile.

Later today we went Andilyse's first soccer practice. This is Andilyse getting her soccer cleats and shin guards on for practice. Daddy had to help you because mommy just didn't know how to do it right.

It was really cute to see all the little kids playing soccer and carrying on conversation with each other. You kept walking around asking everyone "what's your name? my name is Andilyse"

During practice you did pretty good listening to Coach Juan and had fun kicking the ball. You wanted to use your hands sooo bad and every time we told you no hands you would try and use your fingers or forearms instead.

Kicking

You have been very active today, kicking away inside my stomach. You kicked so hard today your big sister was able to feel you. Her face looked like she was in shock. It was if she was saying "so there really is something inside mommy's belly?!?" She wanted to feel you do it again and again, and you did. She felt you kick several times, then I think you got tired after a couple of minutes and stopped. She didn't want you to stop, and she was so excited to feel you. Hopefully you will do it again tonight so your daddy can feel.

19 weeks

I am now in my 19th week of pregnancy. I have an ultrasound scheduled for September 13th, hopefully we can find out if your a precious girl or boy. Over the past week I have started to feel you move a lot and it's so exciting. I can almost feel your little kicks from the outside of my tummy but not enough yet to where your daddy and big sister can feel them. I think your big sister will love to feel you kick and move and I can't wait to see what she does and says the first time she feels you. This weekend, your Opa and Oma are coming to visit us (hopefully), and we are going to paint your room. I'm excited to get it all ready for you and for you to be here.

Life unexpected

Nathan's Grandma passed away two days ago and the reality of it hasn't sunk in yet. This was Nathan's last living grandparent and she will be missed dearly. Andilyse has been spending the last week in Edmond with her Papa and Sity so instead of meeting them half way tomorrow to pick her up it looks like we are going the distance then sticking around until Tuesday or Wednesday. I miss my baby (although she is not a baby any more) soooo much. I haven't seen her since last Sunday morning. Although, we've enjoyed all the free time this last week and were able to get A LOT accomplished with her gone and with Nathan off of work. Well it's time to go get ready for a long day in the car tomorrow with the two dogs.

Playing in the rain and gymnastics

Yesterday we all took Braum for a walk and while we were at the park it started to rain on us. We all ran home without getting too wet, except for you! When we got home you wouldn't come out of the rain so we let you play in it for awhile.






















Today we went to open play at gymnastics, it's been a couple months since we've been able to go so you really enjoyed it today. Your favorite thing to do today was jump on the trampoline, which you did a lot of!

When you got tired of jumping you went over to the jump ropes and got one, then you took it to another child and gave it to them. Then you would go get another jump rope and find another kid to give it to. It was sooo sweet to see you share with all the other kids. At the end of gymnastics they put out a bubble machine and gave you a cookie. You are typically very polite, but you have a hard time telling people you don't know (adults) thank you. When you got your cookie today you told the girl thank you without mumbling or hiding behind me. I was so proud of you for overcoming a fear.

LEGO'S

Today we bought you your first set of Lego's. They were a little difficult for you to do by yourself, but nothing that daddy couldn't handle. You helped me build a wagon and a little girl, and you helped daddy build a pretty pink house. Daddy pretended like he didn't like the house, but he sure put a lot of time and attention into it.

Today we went to the Zoo again, this time it was just you, me, and Isaiah. We got rained on a little but you two didn't seem to mind. Again you loved feeding the birds, Isaiah was a little scared of them but you fnally talked him in to coming in with us.

After we left the birds you both wanted to go play in the water, too bad you guys didn't have swimming suits because you both got SOAKED!!!!

13 weeks

I am officially 13 weeks pregnant now. Although I haven't been too sick I have definitely felt the effects of pregnancy more with you than I did with Andilyse. We are all so excited about our new addition and have started thinking about names for you when you come. Andilyse says she wants a girl but we all know what daddy is hoping for. Whatever you are we will love you just the same, right now I just pray for your health and mine throughout the rest of this pregnancy. I can't wait to feel you move inside of me and for your big sister and daddy to feel you move. You are already a blessing to this family and we love you very much.

Corpus Christi

We went to Corpus today with Oma, Opa, and Shannon. This is your second time to go to the beach and you loved it just as much this time as the first time you went. We took Daddy with us this time, he wasn't able to go the last time we went and you have been asking for the past month if we could take Daddy to the beach.

You built sand castles and ate cookies

But most of all you loved to swim!! You played in the water for hours and when it was time to come home you didn't want to get out of the water.

Zoo and Rainforest Cafe

You me and daddy went to the zoo today with Oma, Opa, and Shannon. Not too long ago it would take you a couple days to warm up to your Opa but you took right to him when they visited us this weekend. You even held his hand all the way from the car to the zoo. We saw lots of animals and you were a good tour guide.But the whole time we were at the zoo you kept asking if we could "go feed the birds". We finally made it to the birds and you loved feeding them.
After we left the zoo Oma and Opa took us all to Rainforest Cafe, you were a little scared of the elephants and the lightning and thunder but you loved the chicken!

On the way to the car after eating lunch you asked me and your Oma "what we going to do next?" But You didn't have enough energy to do anything because when you got in the car after a long exhausting day you passed out in the car while you were watching BarnYard.

Arts and crafts

This morning Andilyse greeted me in bed and handed me my phone and said "here you go sweet heart". Later in the day she colored for over an hour, played play dough for 30 minutes, painted for almost an hour and helped me scrapbook for over an hour. She truly loves arts and crafts. She has grown into a wonderful, caring, and creative little girl. She truly is a blessing and I can't wait to see her big sister skills.